your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
