At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
