Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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