yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
