Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
