five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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