Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
