I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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