Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize