that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
