one might say we're banned from that church
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
