i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
