His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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