Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
