He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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