My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
