Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
did you just send me my own nude
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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