Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
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