What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
