so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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