The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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