Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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