Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
