We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
