Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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