alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Girls should come with a carfax report
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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