I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
