this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
