Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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