I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
