I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
All the doctor said was why
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
