Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
