If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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