i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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