feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
