He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I want her autograph on my taint
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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