You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
