i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
