There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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