Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
