butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
