are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
