OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You don't make any sense
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