i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
