Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
