If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You're a waste of cheezeits
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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