i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize