Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
please come you make the beer taste better
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
