This is not my ceiling
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You were trust falling into bushes
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
