He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
