i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize