You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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