i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
