he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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