I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
