Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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