i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
