I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
